Over the past week, I have talked to more women than I can count on my fingers and toes who are trapped in a toxic relationship, emotionally drained, and yet struggle to know that they need to break free.
I want you to come on a trip down memory lane with me for a few minutes…
I am sure we can all recall a friend (or should say, “friend”) that we had in the past who didn’t make us feel good. Maybe this “friend” only ever gossiped about people and made us feel emotionally drained every time we spent time with them.
Or maybe this friend belittled us. Perhaps they talked down to us and made us feel unworthy.
Or maybe this friend was downright abusive. I’ve been in a verbally abusive relationship before and it’s terrible. It’s one of the worst toxic relationships you can be in.
When we’re in these toxic relationships, it’s often quite obvious that it isn’t healthy for us to be a part of it. I know that if I were to feel negative vibes from a person each and every time I got together with them, I wouldn’t make them a priority in my life or, better yet, would likely make an intention of never seeing them ever again.
FYI I don’t keep negative people in my life.
I started talking about toxic relationships with one of my clients the other week and she agreed with me. She said that if a friend didn’t treat her well or made her feel unworthy, belittled, negative, etc., she wouldn’t keep them in her life.
And then I asked her… “do you realize your scale is like a bad friend?”
This client of mine was in a toxic relationship with her weigh scale. Every day she would get on it, weigh herself, and then feel terrible about herself because of the number she saw after stepping on. She would be having a good morning up until she weighed herself and then everything changed. She felt guilty, disgusted, and upset with herself… just like if she were to spend time with a bad friend.
This was a huge eye opener for this particular client of mine as she had never thought about her relationship with her weigh scale in such a way before. In fact, she didn’t think she had a relationship with it at all.
But it was clear she did. She kept going back to it, just like a bad “friend” you don’t know how to let go of.
I know my client isn’t the only one who struggles with letting go of her scale and walking away from this toxic relationship that doesn’t have to be, which is why I am writing this post today.
This post is for you. For all of you who struggle with accepting yourself without outside approval. For all of you who allow your days and emotions to be dictated by a piece of metal that shows you a number when you step on it. For all of you who want to love yourself, but feel as though you can’t because of a number.
If there’s one thing I can accomplish by writing this post it would be to help you realize that YOU are the only one in control over how you feel, your emotions, and the love you have for yourself. If a scale, a “friend”, or any other outside influence is dictating how you feel about or love yourself, it’s time to let it go because YOU are the only one in control.
Only you, babe.